“Hello, my name is [insert name here], and I’m addicted to productivity tools. I find nothing quite so satisfying as organizing my to-do list and downloading new productivity software. Prioritizing my work is ever so much nicer than actually doing it.”—
He just described my whole life in 3 sentences. Incidentally, I came across this quotation while looking up bigger and better ways to make to do lists, when I should just be doing the things on those lists. But then again the first thing on my to do list is: “find a better way to categorize the items I need to do”. [I should also mention that only one of the things from my to do list last week got done, and then the nail polish peeled off within 2 days. #fail]
Yesterday I got into a parking lot altercation with the guy who runs a coffee shop I go to all the time. Looks like I'll never be going back there. So if I fall asleep when I'm talking to you, it's because my caffeine options have been limited.
I know people who go to fashion week are always saying things like “my feet are killing me!” and “this job will be the death of me,” but despite what Rachel Zoe would have you believe, nobody has “literally” died there until now. Maybe people will stop saying those things now?
95-year-old socialite Zelda Kaplan, who was by all accounts an incredibly awesome lady, keeled over suddenly while sitting in the front row at the Joanna Mastroianni show yesterday just as the second model was coming out, which is probably exactly how the socially active style maven wanted to go. According to The New York Post, she was carried out by security and taken to the hospital, where she was pronounced dead of natural causes. (The fashion show continued.)
This is a hilarious blog that celebrates the regular black people and their contributions to society. While Harriet Tubman is important, what about Netta Roberts, the first woman to encourage someone to talk to the hand?
Here are some of my favorites-
Connie Ann Woodard: First person to spank a child in a store for acting up.
Earline Dulin: First person to buy an outfit, wear it, and return it to the store the next day.
William J. Coptus: First black actor to be the first person to die in a horror movie.
Natoria “DontHateMeCuzYouAintMeBabyJustCongratulateMe” Offut: First person to have a ridiculously long and foolish middle name on Facebook.
Kahlil Robinson: First person to walk around the hood with a boombox on his shoulder.
Wish I could write more, but this café is closing, and the barista’s desire to go home and move on with her life is more important than my desire to tell a story about how much I hated lingerers when I was a waitress.
Closing time isn’t closing time. Closing time is 2 minutes prior. Respect that.
Welp, I failed at this. Last Thursday, I went out for dessert with my friend Lori and we didn’t notice that everyone had left the restaurant and we were the only ones left… 45 minutes after it was supposed to close. Whoops!