After JLo gently told Chris that he will not get the chance to butcher an American classic with the Top 24 in the finals, Chris thanked the judges and graciously left the room. JLo, however, turned that shit on like a casting director was in the room and the bill from her jeweler was due!
JLo broke down the way most of us did after the credits from Gigli came up and we realized what we just spent on our time on. JLo thought about the time she caught a glimpse of Skeletor’s [Marc Anthony] naked body under full sunlight and she started to cry as Steven Tyler and Randy Jackson consoled her. JLo was worried that she didn’t use the right words and was upset that the hammer of rejection that broke Chris’ heart was in her hand. MAKING IT ABOUT YOU: JLo is doing it right!
Once JLo wiped the crocotears from her cheek with a cashmere tissue, she got into her chauffeur-driven Maybach and went back to her $50 million mansion where she slipped on her pajama diamonds and continued her cry fest on a silk pillow stuffed with swan feathers. Meanwhile, Chris got in a shuttle that took him back to his economy room at the Ramada where he got on the phone to tell his family that the chick from Anaconda ate his DREAMS! But POOR YOU, JLo!
Yeah, I know some of you are saying, “But Michael, JLo has the heart of Mother Theresa and when you cry, she cries.” “But Michael, JLo is as genuine as the diamonds she wears when she takes a bubble bath in Volvic.” “But Michael, JLo means it, but Paula Abdul never did.” To which I say, NEVAH! While JLo’s manufactured sadness came from a jar of Creme de la Tears, Paula’s tears were always real! Yes, Paula’s tears were a side effect from injecting morphine directly into her eyelid veins, but they were still real!
” —Michael K, blogger at DListed on JLo crying on American Idol last night (video below)
Leomie Anderson (pictured) is a lovely young model. She’s also one of the stars of docu-series The Model Agency, which centers around UK super agency Premiere. The agency’s founder Carole White spoke with The Guardian about why Leomie will struggle to establish herself in modeling and (you guessed it) that explanation is depressing, unconvincing and doesn’t really make any sense.
“It’s a lot harder to start a black girl than a white girl, for a number of reasons. There’s not so much work for them, and sometimes photographers and makeup artists are scared. They don’t know how to light or make them up properly so it takes a lot longer … It’s a slower process.”
Is this really an excuse that clients give when they don’t hire black models? That lighting women of color is tricky and time-consuming?
Sunday was Day 2 of the wonderful Costa Rican adventure. So as I mentioned, we went to bed around 7pm on Saturday and we woke up at 8am on Sunday and only because I set the alarm, otherwise I´m sure we could have kept sleeping. While on Facebook, Ashley posted a status saying that she was in Costa Rica and lo and behold she got a message from a friend she went to India with almost two years ago saying that she too, was in Costa Rica on business for a few days.
Ok it just took me 5 minutes to type that title because apparently I am working on a Spanish keyboard and everything is different (and mislabeled), so please forgive me if I cant find the apostrophe haha. Even logging into this blogging website took forever. I couldn’t find the “at” symbol to type in my email address and luckily the man seated next to me informed me that you need to press: Alt and then 6 and 4, as opposed to Shift and then 2. Anyways, everything is a little different here which is why I thought Alt + 64 would be a good title for today’s post.
Some people know this and some don’t but when I went to bed last night that was the last time I had slept in a bed since Thursday night. The plan was to go to work all day, have dinner with friends, go back to work, go to another friends birthday party, go out at night and then get on the metro at 2:50am to go to the airport for my 6:00am flight. I tired to sleep on the plane but there was a screaming baby that screamed for the whole flight. That was fun. I got to Miami and met Ashley my coworker whom I am going with (her flight was out of a different airport than mine, long story) and we flew from Miami to Costa Rica together.
This morning (yesterday morning but yea I havent slept yet) my sister told me my socks didn’t match. I didn’t care. I just had to take my shoes off to go through airport security. I wish I had listened to her…
I just received the following email in my email spam folder.
Good day,
My name are Mr, William Wilcox, I work with the Euro Lottery. I am soliciting your assistance for a swift transfer of 4,528,000 GBP, should you be willing to assist me in this project? you will be giving me just 40% of your winnings. Just as a brief,you just have to register online,due to my position in the company I can make it happen that you would be a winner of the above stated amount. Naturally, every body would like to play a lottery if they are assured of winning. I am assuring you today to be a winner, please do not take for granted this once in a life time opportunity as we both stand to collectively gain from this at the success of the transaction. Should you be willing to assist me in this transaction please do respondto e-mail:williamwillcox112@hotmail.com.tw
Regards, Mr Wilcox Williams
This offer is pretty tempting, especially considering that I lost the ticket I won the lottery with last time… Ironically, the ticket fell through a hole in my coat pocket, a coat I was going to replace with the money I won (all $2 of it). Oh well, maybe if I contact Mr. Wilcox Williams I can finally replace that coat.
Summary: Went to a DC Triathlon club meeting where I figured out what my goal race will be (more on that later). Struggled to find something red to wear to a Chinese New Year Party. I hate the color red and so I’ve conditioned myself to stay away from it when I go shopping. Well, Saturday I had to un-condition (or de-condition??) myself and I literally didn’t know what to do with myself. Those watching me probably thought I had never gone to a store before in my life because I was just wandering around, with a confused look on my face, trying to mentally re-route my previously ingrained brain neurons [just kidding I have no idea about anything with brain anatomy]. I decided to get red accessories and just wear a neutral outfit, that way I wouldn’t be wasting my money on something I would never wear again. I picked up a red belt, necklace and nail polish, so it all turned out pretty ok. The party was up in Baltimore and I had never driven to Baltimore before, so I was a little nervous about parking, but I prayed about it and low and behold after about 15-20 minutes of circling around, I found street parking 2 blocks away that didn’t require me to parallel park!
For the first time, commencement apparel will be made of material produced from recycled plastic bottles.
